Owning My First Condo and This Is My Story

PRELUDE

This is not just my "owning a condo" but the summary of life on how I achieved my first biggest dreams. I would like this to be the first post on my blog to remind me on my humble beggining and be brave for the upcoming future.

INTRODUCTION

I’m Ivy Togonon, a proud daughter of both teacher-parents, and now I have my own condo that I can call home. People might think “ok, what’s so special about a woman having a condo, when both of her parents are financially capable?”.

My answer is... well, like me, you’re also not special. We’re not special. Nobody is, even that single girl who was left by her father when she was little. A guy who has a farmer father and an ill mother. A child who sleeps on the street because he was left by his parents. Even those rich students who are spending a lot for coffee or milk-tea, which can be a whole month meal for that homeless child I said earlier. Or that bastard at the cinema who keeps taking pictures that it makes you blind when the flash fires (hey get your own cinema, you moron!).

You can’t be special just because your foundation is less fortunate or your family is popular.

So don’t assume that you’ll be treated special just because you have less and needed to be pitied, or thought that you must gain respect or get special treatment because your parents’ salary is six digits or you paid higher taxes than others. No you aren’t, there’s nothing special for those reasons.

I also don’t want to force you either to treat me or my experience as your standards on being special and a worthy person. But I believe that every person’s life is worth telling. The story on how you achieved the goal that makes you special, the pain you endured and the judgement you faced that makes you special.

Nobody has the same story as ours, and that’s what makes us special.

That single girl who was left by her father is now a famous actress and now had found strength to forgive her father and reconciled.

That guy who has a farmer father and ill mother is now a doctor because he experienced growing in the mountains with no hospitals and clinics nearby is difficult for a working farmer.

That street child who was left by his parents is now doing his best to go to school, managed to find a nook to study with just a little light from the 24/7 convenience store, and soon will become rich, the goal he really wanted.

Those rich students spending dollars of amount on coffee and milk-tea are those people who don’t have parents to share their tables with because their parents are too busy providing all the family’s needs. Despite having all the drugs to be affordable for them, they just created a hallucination of a happy family. They chose to avoid it, drink coffee and they manage to maintain high grades in school.

And that bastard you hate at the cinema, is a brave soul who has a brother confined at the hospital and is probably a paralytic brother, who is a big fan of marvel and that brave soul knows how angry you are, but the brave soul needed to film it to snap a photo. Because she doesn’t know when will be the last time she will see her brother smile.

Yes, the brave soul might be me. If my brother is alive up to now, maybe I’ll do that, just to see his smile. He loves movies so much. That even when I dreamed of him, we talked about movies.

The struggle we encountered, the tears we shed ,the numerous sleepless nights and telling ourselves that we shouldn’t sleep is way more better that not waking up. Those stories made us special.

So make your own story no matter who you are and show it to people with a cherry on top.

THE STRUGGLE

Year 1998, month of June. The day when our lives turn to pages, not for the fresh happy start, but the day my 15 year old brother that time had an accident and made him paralytic. I was 8 year old at that time. On my very young age I started to have things on my own since the attention of the family is on my brother. I learned advanced skills not only on taking care of my brother but also in school. I was a grade 4 student when I was 8. And since I was advanced, I was always asked to skip school just to take care of my brother and I understand my parents decision, because if I failed on the last term of the school year it would just breakeven.

I grow up inside a home with less plays and more work. Not because my parents told me to work and take care of my brother, but maybe because I’m too young to be fond of money. Yes, my parents are generous enough that everytime I took care of my brother, I got money or some sort of reward like new bags, dress (yes I wear dress) and some beautiful things. I learned that I need to struggle, I need to do 200 rounds of exercise on my brother’s both legs, change his diaper, treat his bedsores, wipe his butt when he poop, just to achieve what I want.

And then suddenly my ambition to graduate from college at 18 years old was impossible when my parents decided to make me stop after I graduated highschool. My parents excuse was I’m too young for college, but I know we don’t have money at that time, because I saw them, my parents were sneaking on my so called college fund worth of 3k on of that night .

I spent my super extended vacation (a year of vacation XD) taking my younger sister to her school, then buying candies and some unhealthy snacks that elementary pupils will love and sold them on school (taking advantage of my parent as a teacher in that school hahaha) and returning back at home (before lunch) to take care of my brother. In the afternoon, I’m cooking snacks like champorado and banana for my family.

Another year has passed and it's time for me to ask them about going to college. My parents were maybe in deep debt because of what happened to our family. And this time, I know I can’t enroll in a University or maybe even on any other college. I was a father-favorite that time and I am again taking advantage of being a favorite. I asked my father to send me to college and promised not to be a burden financially.

I enrolled in college, maybe not in a university but one of the best schools in computer studies. I enrolled in Asian College of Technology. On my 2nd year I applied for a working student in our school and was lucky to be assigned at the Vice President’s office to be her as an assistant. The privilege of being a VP assistant includes free vitamins and free food, of course. I can save little on my 500 pesos weekly allowance and my savings will use to buy books, manuals, educational trip. And also I work on some of my classmates assignments and projects in exchange for food or money.

Like other success story of hard working students, I graduated with a certificate, not cumlaude but a service award certificate.

Which I am really proud about it and was according to my plan to graduate like this, not a high honor but great pride. I got a job right away, because who won't not hire a fresh graduate student with working experience?

I’m not good in public speaking nor got a perfect grammar in English, so I decided to be a developer. I try to resist my eager to have a high paying job like call center agents because I know I’m not good at it.

When I was 20 years old, I set a goal to have my own home at age 27. So I worked hard. At age 23 I got my first boyfriend and we bought a land property together. That time, I was thinking that I’m closer to achieving my goal, we’ve done paying the land but for some reason I can’t start building it. Then 26... 27... 28... still no luck on my dreams.

Those years I spent searching on some house and lots and condos, comparing the pros and cons, checking designs and reaching out on their contact email to inquire, but were too pricey for me and there it is… I lost hope.

On my 29th, I dreamed to try on how it is to have a 6 digit salary. My salary is 30k below only and I looked up on some of my acquaintance living the life as what they said #feelingblessed for having that kind of job that can pay more than 3x my salary. They bought what life can offer, they travel a lot, eat at fancy restaurants and some of them changed their attitude. So I asked myself what will feel to have a 6 digit salary? I want to try even just for one month, will I become greedy? will I change my attitude? is it for good or for bad?

I know I’m not that good to have a high-paying client, so I need to work hard to achieve the 6 digit salary. And so I tried, I worked 2 full time jobs and a few part time jobs as well. I almost won’t sleep in between that time, got tired, lots of dramas, crying for some random reason and felt exhausted. I told myself if I continue working like this, I will die next year and then here’s the end of the month.... MY FIRST 100K.

I stop the 100k challenge, the next month. And I was happy to have stopped myself from becoming a slave of money. I want to use the money, and not the other way around.

January 2019, I have additional 100k money on my savings account. Way back before I need to work 8 years to save 100k, now I have an additional 100k and I got it in just a month. So what will I do now I to achieve my goal? Now that I have the 6 digits on my account.

I realized that money won’t make you happy unless you spend it to something that makes you happy.

So I bought a 200sqm lot near my parents' home in Dalaguete. And start dreaming back on having a home. Maybe this time my goal is having my own home at age 35.

Back in the city, a few days after I acquire the lot. Something popped on my screen. “Ready For Occupancy RFO LOFT Type Condo Unit For Sale”. I inquired and said it was the last unit. I asked where it is located and the name of condo. And she said Bloq Residences, Sikatuna. My heart pumped, and drowsiness was gone, and butterflies in my stomach appeared.

Checking the needed money which is 116k + monthly 23k for 5 months. And what I have is 100k and a monthly gross income of 24k. How will I do that? I’ll try to negotiate of course, (hahaha) But my negotiating skills didn’t work. Instead the amount needed to be paid got higher due to some circumstances.

I really liked it, I know it was impossible on my current situation. I though about my friends having kids and those below-minimum workers who are doing their best just to build a simple house so that their 4 kids can have a safe shelter. How do they do that? Is it because they are parents or maybe because they have to and they need to do it?

So I changed the way I think, I needed to get this because I have to. If those people can feed 5-6 mouths. Me, I’m just feeding myself and I still have money and will find money no matter what, just like what they do.

I listed all the possible places where I can loan for money, including coop and even some random people posting on Facebook. I will never deny that I got debt on owning this. Because I’m not that rich to pay cash for a condo. Even rich people got debt, even our country.

I informed some of my close friends about my plan on getting condo so that I can I get moral support from them. These kind of friends are true friends, even if they never lend you money (laughing) but it really helps me a lot. They encouraged me and one of them even gave me a client for my sideline. So believe in the power of kinds words.

So here I am now working hard, no more weekends off, no more fancy dates, crying for no reason again hahaha.

But this is good. This kind of struggle you will like because you already know the result.

As what Mark Manson said “Don’t hope for a life without problems. There’s no such thing. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems.” and this is it called “good problems”.